dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
