Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
