We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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