We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
