i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
