Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
