just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
