um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
