i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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