I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
