Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
