you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
