6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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