My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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