your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
