We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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