I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Randomize
