I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
