Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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