I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
