That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
