Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
