i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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