Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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