So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
