We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
my sisters under your porch take her home
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
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