i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I just found puke in my bra..
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
