Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
