we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I could fuck to npr.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
