i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
