bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
