Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
