She's JV to your varsity
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
