i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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