Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
