I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
