i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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