I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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