I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
