if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
