If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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