I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
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