I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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