Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I licked your asshole in confidence.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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