can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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