I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
