4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
