He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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