Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
