Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
